Breaking the Silence…

What better time to end my hiatus than Easter?  Easter: A rising from the dead…a coming out of hiding…a great return…a breaking of the silence.

Silence…?

My short time away from my computer-key-therapy was spent in busyness and mayhem.  I’ve been sorting, packing, and cleaning in order to get our house on the market.  Our desire is to move closer to our church community and family.  This, however, requires the kids to switch schools, yet again, and with that, comes all kinds of thoughts to process and forms to fill out.  All of these decisions required a stepping away so that I could be intentionally focused on the choices and tasks at hand.

So here I am.  Struggling to keep the house clean while on the market, still two months left of this school year, and the calendar steadily filling with weddings, graduations, and celebrations of all kinds.  I almost feel premature in my return.  Soon (hopefully), I will have to pack more boxes, make some out-of-town trips, and in general, be too busy for my own good.  I might find myself stepping back once again, in need of another break, in need of some silence.

But what better time to break silence than Easter?

Have you ever thought about silence?  Have you ever been quiet enough to truly experience it?  And then when your words have stopped, have you ever been still enough that your thoughts stop?

Me either.  

When I try to be silent, other sounds intrude…it’s never completely silent:

Distant birds chirping.

Cars humming two streets over.

The dog’s breathing gaining weight as she falls asleep under my desk.

Dang, I forgot to start the crockpot…

I wonder if the realtor will call today…

I really should get a hair cut.

The silence is never completely silent…unless your lying breathless in a tomb. Tweet: The silence is never completely silent, unless your lying breathless in a tomb. #EASTER #BreakingTheSilence

When I consider my return to blogging, my breaking of silence…I know nothing of the topic.  I not only wonder if this is the right time to start writing again, but I also question if I’ve even taken a true break.  If I’m honest, I don’t know true quiet, true rest…because even in my portrayed absence, I’m still busy.  Again, if I’m honest,  I don’t know true sacrifice, true death, or true breathlessness.  I’m always clinging to self-interests, comforts, or lung-filled gasps for control.

Perhaps I don’t know true silence, because I don’t know how to truly surrender.Tweet: Perhaps I don't know true silence, because I don't know how to truly surrender. #EASTER #BreakingTheSilence

Jesus, while seemingly absent as His body lay in that tomb, was hard at work.  He was waging a war.  He was busy going to the place of mayhem, defeating death, conquering sin, paying off the debt of mankind.  His hiatus wasn’t a vacation.  His purposeful silence redefines the understanding of my own rest.

His silence had motive.  His stillness acted in extremes.  His body slumped over, but His Spirit ran into battle.Tweet: His silence had motive. His stillness acted in extremes. His body slumped over, but His Spirit ran into battle. #EASTER #BreakingTheSilence

Perhaps, I need apply a new silence to my lips, or to my keyboard.  One that requires a laying down of my own comforts and opinions.  One that only speaks through actions of sacrifice and words of mercy.

As I come back from my blogging hiatus, I consider how Jesus broke His silence.  The earth shook and He appeared to many, making sure they knew the only news that mattered: they were loved and redeemed.

At first, my own breaking of silence seems pretty insignificant compared to all that Jesus has accomplished.  (Plus, His ground-shaking-bit…no one will even notice when I’m back!)

But, I see that His breaking of silence tells me all I need to know about re-engaing my own voice:Tweet: His breaking of silence tells me all I need to know about re-engaing my own voice. #EASTER #BreakingTheSilence

He loves me. (John 3:16) (Romans 8:35)

He has won me. (1 Corinthians 6:11) (1 Corinthians 6:20)

He has equipped me. (2 Corinthians 3:5) (Ephesians 1:3)

He has empowered me. (Ephesians 1:19) (Ephesians 6:10) (Romans 8:37)

He has sent me. (Matthew 5:13-14) (Matthew 28:19) (John 13:34-35) (2 Corinthians 5:20)

What better way to break silence than with the example of Jesus’s own ground-shattering return from the quiet tomb…to proclaim the only news that really matters.

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” 

Galatians 2:20

Lent: Day 34, 35, and 36

Day 34: partaaay…

God’s been working on my heart the past few weeks through this Lenten ‘adding’.  He’s been teaching me to step out in faith and to not over-think the future.  He’s pressing on me the importance of the message…His message, and the unimportance of my fears and seemingly humble concerns.  I say “seemingly” because I am learning that my desire to be humble is actually just a way to protect self.  It is inhibiting me from actually doing what God wants me to do…share His message.

Tonight was the final meeting of the A Girl and Her Warhorse Study at Crosspoint.  To celebrate our time together, we all brought snacks.  We had popcorn, fancy cheese and crackers, cookies, cupcakes, oreo balls, and even a Chick-Fil-A nugget platter.  It ain’t a party ’til the seal on the Chick-Fil-A sauce is cracked.

I am so thankful for all the ladies that I’ve grown to know a little better over the past 8 weeks or so.  What a delight to share our stories and to remember together how faithful is our true Savior.  Tonight was particularly meaningful for me as my new friends shared feedback on the study and thoughts for the future.  What a joy to walk alongside other women through all that life throws our way.  I’m amazed at all that God continues to do. He has been pounding me with words that I’ve been needing to hear.  And He does so with such gentleness and grace.

“You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great.”

Psalm 18:35 


Day 35: opportunity

Today I added an opportunity.  It’s been one of the ways God has been moving and speaking to me lately–through opportunities.  Usually, I let other tasks, like folding the laundry or cooking dinner take precedence.  Or I simply find an excuse to not answer these risky calls to action. But lately, I’ve been jumping with both feet(…as of this week).  It’s exciting to watch things unfold.  (A whole lot better than waiting for the clothes to self-fold.)

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.” 

Matthew 7:7


Day 36: yellow sweater

About a month ago, Helen and I were in the store when we came across some discounted fabric.  There was one bolt with some lightweight, very thin, white material with a pretty green design along its border.  In a moment of Super-Mom delusion, I agreed to make Easter dresses for the girls.

Fast-forward to day 36 of Lent.

Yeah, I totally forgot about the material and the promise of handmade dresses.  We’re going out of town tomorrow, and the last time I did math, I think 40 minus 36 was only…holy Cadbury Egg, not enough days to sew Easter dresses.

Yesterday, I found the bag of fabric stashed on the floor of the linen closet.  I started cutting and sewing the little that I could, trying to make a plan out of “no idea how I am going to do this.”

Today, I finished one dress, trying my best to meet all of my 11-year-old’s expectations.  Getting the super-fine fabric to glide under the machine’s needle without snagging was near impossible.  Which is why today, we added a yellow sweater.  Thankfully, it’s bottom edge hangs right at the waistline of the dress, hiding all the flaws of the gathered seam.

On the cross, Jesus covers me with a full-body sweater of righteousness.  It’s like a Snuggie…it covers every possible inch.  There’s not one bit of me that doesn’t receive his goodness, mercy, and forgiveness.  Thank goodness that His provision of forgiveness wasn’t a last-minute remembrance of a forgotten promise.  He had a plan of piecing His forgiveness over by brokenness since the beginning of time.  And unlike this dress, whose snags and hiccups are merely disguised, what was once flawed in us, becomes flawless in Jesus.  No more need to hide.

Now, we just pray for dress #2, whose designer is far pickier than Ava.

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness.”

Isaiah 61:10