When life gives you lemons, squeeze the heck out of them…

April 10, 2015 — Leave a comment

Life is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenting is hard. Work is hard. I’m not the first blogger to write this. I’m actually one of many, many “mommy bloggers” to add her own twist on the hardships of daily living.

I’d like to say that I’ve got a unique perspective, but honestly, I am still trying to figure out what the heck to do with the days, hours, minutes, and seconds I’ve been dealt. Aren’t we all? In my searching, there is one place I seem to always land, one little treasure I always find at the end of my daily hunts.

And here it is:

Beauty…good…purpose (whatever you want to call it) usually is unearthed with some digging. When life gives you lemons, you don’t just get lemonade. There is an important squeezing process necessary to get to that final glass of goodness. A caterpillar doesn’t just become a butterfly, it goes through months of isolation and slow transformation. A tulip doesn’t just appear from the ground, its bulb requires a 2-inch depth hole to be dug.

I am not saying that beauty is only obtained by work, or that good is created by our own efforts. Nor can you expect good things to just sprout from an untilled ground. Within the lemon exists the tartness, the acidity, the edge of sweet to produce quality lemonade. The caterpillar contains all the necessary DNA, food storage, and stamina to make the journey from chrysalis to transformation. The gardener is provided earth, sun, and seasons by which the tulip blooms from the ground. God provides all and does all when it comes to good in this world. Psalm 16:2 says, “I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; I have no good apart from you.'” But what makes one glass of lemonade stand out from the rest? One species of butterfly outlast its competitors? One garden flourish, while it’s neighbor bears sparse buds? How do we thrive, not merely survive?

Here are two ingredients when it comes to finding beauty and goodness in the mundane. I know them in theory, but in them I don’t have a whole lot of experience.

Practice and Joy.

What makes one life seem full of sweetness and beauty? What makes one marriage seem to outlast even the hardest seasons? What makes a family flourish and bear enviable fruit?

Practice and Joy.

Happily thriving in life is not acquired by simply hard work. At face value, it may appear that commitment and determination are the key. However, one can strive, labor, and (in principal) take all the right action at all the right times and still not experience beauty or see God’s goodness in the hard things of life. It has to be practiced. It has to be done in joy.

My 5-year-old son likes to practice things that for most would be begrudging work. He likes to get a shovel and perfect digging a hole. He likes to practice manual labor by rearranging landscaping stones. About a month ago, he even practiced squeezing lemons. He went through about 5 of them. Using a handheld metal lemon squeezer, he extracted every last drop of juice from the small fruits until the muscles of his hands and forearms were sore. As he practices, he enjoys it. His fatigue only made him feel strong. Had I asked him to dig a trench, remove large rocks, or squeeze half a dozen lemons for me, as an act of obedience, he would have thrown a strike for unfair labor requirements. But, with a heart of discovery, a desire to grow, and a spirit of joy, these tasks became beautiful experiences.

When’s the last time you played in the dirt? When’s the last time you did hard manual labor, just for fun? When’s the last time you happily reviewed 3rd grade multiplication tables or allowed yourself to excitedly play an extra 5 minutes with your little one before bed? When’s the last time you looked at the full kitchen sink and were excited to play with the bubbles? When’s the last time you entered a difficult conversation with your spouse or co-worker with a spirit of joy, a desire to grow, and a heart of discovery?

Life is hard. Marriage is hard. Parenthood is hard. Work is hard. It is hard to find reasons to be thankful or to have joy. Sleuthing for beauty in difficult terrain is complicated and can be ominous. But it takes practice and joy. The best lemonade is usually mixed by the hands that have squeezed the lemons time and time again, out of excitement to uncover the perfected secret ratio of sugar to juice. The hardiest butterfly species has successfully adapted over a long period of time for the chance to fly free from its captive cocoon. The fullest garden has most likely been planted and tended by the oldest and wisest gardener who has years of experience with a hoe and pruning sheers, who enjoys the outdoors and studying weather patterns.

Practice only becomes another task, another chore, another hole to dig, if it were not for joy. In our task-driven society, even the art of conversation, the peacefulness of a nap, and the sweetness of story-time is lost in the ticking of the clock. Children grow up only blooming partial and undeveloped emotional fruits. Marriages lack luster and vibrancy. The daily dance of life is experienced as merely the daily grind.

I hunt for beauty everyday…because I have realized that I can’t survive without it. While I am currently confident of it’s existence, I am still learning to allow joy to be a part of the pursuit. I’m not good at this. I take life and all its bits way too seriously. I am beginning to understand that it’s taking me years of practice just to smile while on the hunt. Uncovering God’s goodness amidst the brokenness of this world is only half of the experience. The trekking of sandy shore with shovel in hand and metal detector in the other is the fun I’ve been missing! I will risk miserably failing at times to have the chance of uncovering such priceless treasure. Finding beauty from the ashes, the living among the dead, the lemonade in the lemons…there is joy to be had in the searching. It’s hard, sweaty work–no doubt. But, I don’t ever want the application of Romans 8:28 (“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.”) to continue to be something I have to do. It is a privileged opportunity to walk alongside God seeing life through the eyes of the One who crafted each and every treasure. I get to squeeze the lemons…all of them…with joy.

Oh, to be this:

“Strength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
‘Many women have done excellently,
but you surpass them all.’
Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gate”

Proverbs 31:25-31

Moses didn’t go to Dairy Queen…

April 7, 2015 — 1 Comment

Just before Easter, I found out that CrossBooks, the self-publishing arm of Lifeway, is closing it’s doors at the end of the month. It was a shocker, seeing as I had just arranged with them to have a book-signing at the Southern Baptist Convention later this summer. Now, that opportunity is cancelled and the printing of my book will be put on hold while all the ins-and-outs are transferred over to another publishing company.

I didn’t see this little bump coming. In fact, just the week before, I was so encouraged by multiple chance-meetings, conversations, and opportunities, that I felt as though I was reaching the summit of a new peak. Little did I know, that I was merely rounding the foothills of a great chain of mountains that lie ahead.

What do we do in these moments–when all seems to be rapidly advancing forward, only to abruptly stop at a standstill? If we are on the highway, we might have a few choice words for the situation. If we are distracted, maybe texting while driving, we might find ourselves up the rear bumper of those in front of us. If we are alert and aware that the highway is an unpredictable environment, then we allow time to avoid collision and can bluetooth Siri for an alternate route.

This past week, I was excited about getting to the final destination. I was looking at the horizon, dreaming of the Dairy Queen that lay just beyond…

…and I was aggressively driving to get there. I wasn’t noticing the Bluebonnets or the Indian Paintbrush. I wasn’t aware of the other drivers or the chance of construction on the future 5-mile stretch. So when traffic came to a halt, I reacted with a few choice words and a little bit of panic.

Have you ever thought about the highway journeys found in Scripture? Consider Moses: From birth, he was removed from the solid arms of his mother and put into a wobbly river-born basket. He grew up in a palace, rapidly advancing in the Egyptian hierarchy. He was unaware, however, that the fast-paced, golden overpass he was traveling was about to run out of asphalt. He ended up in the desert, running as a former adopted child to a king, reeling from the reveal of his true biological make-up and the guilt of his actions. He was not who he thought he was. He was taken in by tent-living nomads who tended to sheep. It would appear Moses was on a completely different route, living a new life, perhaps even happy to seek a new dream. Then he found himself literally on a mountain. It was there that a burning bush smart-phone redirected him back to Egypt, back to the palace, but with a completely new role.

How awkward that first reuniting with his adoptive brother, Pharaoh, must have been. How awkward getting to know his biological brother, Aaron, as they took on a seemingly impossible adventure together. None of it was the path that Moses envisioned for himself. He was in an unpredictable environment. None of it was comfortable or ideal. His 10-year plan, likely drafted within advanced Egyptian architecture, probably didn’t include a Midian wife, a shepherd’s/farmer’s-tan, and a plague-ridden squabble of “LET GO!” with his older childhood brother.

I am amazed when I think about the lifespan of Moses…all that he went through, all the different roles he filled, and all the things he must have seen. Even more awe-inspiring to me is how God used a man who lorded over His own people to later free His people. Just like Saul, God used a man who was an enemy to become the greatest advocate.

My road has been bumpy…and not just with publishers and book stuff. I’ve been the worst of enemies with those who God is calling me to advocate for–my husband, my children, …my self. The lies that I believe about my identity tell me that I belong to a worldly dynasty, entitled to riches and authority. I have lorded over my own people. I have not been kind. We all do this, right? We all believe the lies of entitlement. We all abuse those closest and dearest.

But we are not destined to this…

There is hope.

God has a plan to remove us off the interstate leading to creamy soft-serve, where we are likely weak to over-indulge and cut in line. He sits us in a desert and gives us sheep to watch. He leads us to green pastures. He calls us by new names and reminds us of our true identity.

Then…

He sends us to a mountain.

He asks us to recall where we’ve been and redirects us to a path that is a divine mashup of all we have ever been with all that we are to become. He takes the stuff that shames us and pushes us forward with wisdom gained and connections built. Rather than a fancy headdress and a royal polished crook and flail, He adorns us with humble sandals and a shepherd’s knotty staff in hand.

I don’t know where I am headed, or at what pace I am supposed to walk. However, I have been reminded of who I am. I have been retaught of where I have been and where I currently pause. I stand, waiting in the cleft of a mountain, for the still small voice or the burning bush…whatever He has for me. And when He says whatever He has to say to me, I pray I move with confident hustle, even though awkwardness and discomfort are inevitable. I ask that He continue to remind me that every place I’ve been and have yet to go is preparing and shaping me for one purpose and one goal…to bring news of freedom to those who are enslaved. He is grooming me with all that I need to reach those to whom He has called me.

Moses didn’t go to Dairy Queen…right away. He was first diverted off the path, given all that was necessary to get him there for more than just ice-cream…for the milk and honey sweetness of freedom for God’s people.

“Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all the day long.”

Psalm 25:5

Lent: Day 40

April 2, 2015 — Leave a comment

Day 40: Sesame Street Seder

Today is Maunday Thursday, the conclusion of Lent, and the embarking of the journey to the cross. Today we add to Lent the remembrance of Passover, of the meal that Jesus shared with His disciples, the bread and the wine, the body and the blood.

This evening, I plan on putting together a small Seder for my family. The meal remembers the story of Passover, how God rescued His people from Egypt through Moses and brought them to the promised land. Each food of the meal has meaning and purpose. A roasted lamb shank bone, the Z’roa, is the culmination of the meal, symbolizing the lamb that the Jews sacrificed as the special Passover offering when the Temple stood in Jerusalem. Most Jews celebrate this feast, and as Christians, it is an important part of our story as well. Jesus is the final passover lamb that was sacrificed once and for all. We have no need to make further sacrifices to our God. Jesus paid the ultimate price.

This morning as I sat down to write, ironically, I overheard Sesame Street explain a Seder Meal. Grover was on the hunt for horseradish. It’s the maror, or bitter herb that represents the bitterness of the Israelites slavery in Egypt. He was looking in all the wrong places, like a horse stall, for example. It had to be explained to Grover that horseradish is a root vegetable that grows underground. It would have to be dug up.

I often look in all the wrong places for the source of my bitterness. My slavery, my sin, my discontent–I think it might come from my vocation, or lack thereof. I sometimes blame finances or lack of opportunities. I look to others, my spouse and my kids, as the reason I am chewing on potent bitterness. But the fact is that I have to get on my knees and get a little dirty to dig it up.

Usually, the bitterness that I live with is found deep in my heart of hearts. It is usually grounded in an untruth about God and His sovereignty and provision. It is usually rooted in a distrust of God and His love for me and His promises. I don’t see my circumstances as part of a larger divine plan. Even the Israelites’ captivity in Egypt was purposeful. It was a part of a bigger plan, a greater story…one that pointed to freedom, one that whispered the name of Jesus.

Did you know, in the middle ages, horseradish had medicinal purposes? When I am on my knees in prayer, digging up roots of bitterness, I usually find that identifying my erroneous view of God has great healing qualities. Bitterness is replaced with contentment, even joy, because what is false is replaced with the sweetness of truth. And, the name of Jesus is usually whispered into the dark places of my heart.

I am grateful for this “adding to Lent” journey. I have noticed blessings that, had it not been for Lent, would have gone unnoticed. The great redemptive power of Jesus, to replace all bitterness and death with sweetness, beauty, and life–this is what I long for. This is what I search for daily: His pulling out of the dirt that which is intended for my good.

Happy Digging 🙂

“O Lord, by these things men live,
and in all these is the life of my spirit.
Oh restore me to health and make me live!
Behold, it was for my welfare
that I had great bitterness;
but in love you have delivered my life
from the pit of destruction,
for you have cast all my sins
behind your back.”

Isaiah 38:16-18

Lent: Day 37, 38 and 39…

March 31, 2015 — Leave a comment

37: garage sale

Our neighborhood held its annual garage sale this morning. The streets were packed with cars and bargain hunters. We were on the lookout for two armed chairs to complete our dining room table set. We never found any, but we did come across something we didn’t even know we needed…an old school desk. Once we brought it home, it was immediately put to use by the kids. Who knew we needed this desk? I guarantee that this buy has already been used more in one day than the chairs we were looking for would have been used in an entire year.

I think of all the times I am searching and praying to find particular objects, circumstances, or opportunities, and God has something completely different in mind for me. Sometimes I wonder why I even look to begin with if I’ve got the wrong shopping list in hand! But if I had never gone perusing down the block for dining chairs, I’d never noticed the desk. I think God gives us desires to get us simply out of the house. He places things on our hearts to just get us off the stinkin’ couch, only to lead us to the things we really need and can truly benefit from. I don’t know if I’d gone through all the trouble of navigating the busy and congested streets of our neighborhood for one old schoolhouse chair.

I wonder what other special finds God has sitting in someone’s driveway for me…and you? We’ll just have to keep our eyes peeled.

“The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.
The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down;
the Lord loves the righteous.”

Psalm 146:8

38: celebration

Today we celebrated my niece’s First Communion and the wedding of a dear friend. It was a day full of celebration. What a wonderful thing to add to Lent. It’s not too often that we associate celebration with Lent. However, today was also Palm Sunday, a day marked with joyous celebration.

When the people waved their palm branches as Jesus entered the city, they had no idea how their hearts and cheers were going to shift in a week’s time. Did that lessen their praise? Did Jesus hear, “hosanna!” and think to himself, “yeah, right, just wait and hear what you’ll say to me on Friday…”? I don’t think so. I think Jesus lived in the moment. I think He received the praise and honor from the people. I think He knew what was coming, but He also was riding on that donkey fully taking in every face He saw, every song He heard.

I tend to worry through even the good times–worrying about what’s to come, never fully taking in the moment. Even at this wedding full of good friends, beautiful weather, and yummy cake, every time I paused to consider what a great time I was having, I immediately thought of the 3-hour drive home and the early morning battle to get to school on time. It was such a joy-kill.

I pray that I learn to live in the moment with joy and celebration.

“You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”

Psalm 16:11

39: bad math

So I realized today that somehow my Lenten math is off. I thought today, Monday, was the 39th day of Lent. Then a google search revealed that the official 40th day of Lent is Thursday, April 2nd. I’m totally boggled about where I went wrong! Oh, well! I will take this as a gift from God. Now, I’ve got till Thursday to write the my last Lenten post. Thank you, Jesus! Because honestly, I’m tired and have a cold, and all I want to do is sleep. There’s really no point in hiding it. We all feel apathetic and tired at some point. His grace covers even those emotions, and it it sufficient for them. There’s no need to feel guilty or to bear shame because I’m not feelin’ it today.

Thank you, Jesus, for releasing me from guilt and bad math.

“For from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.”

John 1:16

Lent: Day 34, 35, and 36

March 27, 2015 — Leave a comment

Day 34: partaaay…

God’s been working on my heart the past few weeks through this Lenten ‘adding’. He’s been teaching me to step out in faith and to not over-think the future. He’s pressing on me the importance of the message…His message, and the unimportance of my fears and seemingly humble concerns. I say “seemingly” because I am learning that my desire to be humble is actually just a way to protect self. It is inhibiting me from actually doing what God wants me to do…share His message.

Tonight was the final meeting of the A Girl and Her Warhorse Study at Crosspoint. To celebrate our time together, we all brought snacks. We had popcorn, fancy cheese and crackers, cookies, cupcakes, oreo balls, and even a Chick-Fil-A nugget platter. It ain’t a party ’til the seal on the Chick-Fil-A sauce is cracked.

I am so thankful for all the ladies that I’ve grown to know a little better over the past 8 weeks or so. What a delight to share our stories and to remember together how faithful is our true Savior. Tonight was particularly meaningful for me as my new friends shared feedback on the study and thoughts for the future. What a joy to walk alongside other women through all that life throws our way. I’m amazed at all that God continues to do. He has been pounding me with words that I’ve been needing to hear. And He does so with such gentleness and grace.

“You have given me the shield of your salvation, and your right hand supported me, and your gentleness made me great.”

Psalm 18:35

Day 35: opportunity

Today I added an opportunity. It’s been one of the ways God has been moving and speaking to me lately–through opportunities. Usually, I let other tasks, like folding the laundry or cooking dinner take precedence. Or I simply find an excuse to not answer these risky calls to action. But lately, I’ve been jumping with both feet(…as of this week). It’s exciting to watch things unfold. (A whole lot better than waiting for the clothes to self-fold.)

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”

Matthew 7:7

Day 36: yellow sweater

About a month ago, Helen and I were in the store when we came across some discounted fabric. There was one bolt with some lightweight, very thin, white material with a pretty green design along its border. In a moment of Super-Mom delusion, I agreed to make Easter dresses for the girls.

Fast-forward to day 36 of Lent.

Yeah, I totally forgot about the material and the promise of handmade dresses. We’re going out of town tomorrow, and the last time I did math, I think 40 minus 36 was only…holy Cadbury Egg, not enough days to sew Easter dresses.

Yesterday, I found the bag of fabric stashed on the floor of the linen closet. I started cutting and sewing the little that I could, trying to make a plan out of “no idea how I am going to do this.”

Today, I finished one dress, trying my best to meet all of my 11-year-old’s expectations. Getting the super-fine fabric to glide under the machine’s needle without snagging was near impossible. Which is why today, we added a yellow sweater. Thankfully, it’s bottom edge hangs right at the waistline of the dress, hiding all the flaws of the gathered seam.

On the cross, Jesus covers me with a full-body sweater of righteousness. It’s like a Snuggie…it covers every possible inch. There’s not one bit of me that doesn’t receive his goodness, mercy, and forgiveness. Thank goodness that His provision of forgiveness wasn’t a last-minute remembrance of a forgotten promise. He had a plan of piecing His forgiveness over by brokenness since the beginning of time. And unlike this dress, whose snags and hiccups are merely disguised, what was once flawed in us, becomes flawless in Jesus. No more need to hide.

Now, we just pray for dress #2, whose designer is far pickier than Ava.

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
he has covered me with the robe of righteousness.”

Isaiah 61:10

ANGIE GOEKE

Life After Rehab