Day 25: intentions
I had good intentions of getting a lot done today, including adding something to Lent. It didn’t happen…any of it.
“For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” Romans 7:15
Day 26: insanity
Today I unintentionally added insanity to Lent:
My little raccoon dumped a bag of chili cheese Fritos on the master bathroom floor mat. It looked like the Pyramid of Giza piled atop white Egyptian sand.
He stole his sister’s deodorant and hacked it into little pieces all over the upstairs bathroom. Moisture-blocking deodorant, when ground into a fluffy bath mat, is very hard to clean.
He locked himself in the bathroom while I was making an important business call. We don’t have a key.
He threw multiple toys over the banister…after I had just taken them upstairs to the toy room.
He removed and hid all the printer ink cartridges…as I was trying to print copies of music for Sunday.
He ninja-swiped open dirty diapers as I tried to change him. I am so done with poop.
All of this was before 10:00 am.
I didn’t have time to add something inspirational today…(hello, reality…thanks for showing up uninvited.)
“Be gracious to me, O God, for man (boy) tramples on me; all day long an attacker (a toddler) oppresses me”
Day 27: coffee creamer
So, obviously the last couple of days have been ridiculous, but let’s be honest. This is life for most people: crazy. When asked how things are going, we all say it: “Busy.” “Crazy” “insane.” This is the norm for most of us, especially if we’ve got lots of responsibilities, whether it be tasks at work, or children at home, or a combination of the two.
Again, I got nothing done today. I seemed to rush and rush, strive and toil, with little to nothing to show for it. When I left to go pick up the kids from school, the house was still a mess, laundry still needed to be done, and I still hadn’t finished preparing for the bible study I was supposed to lead tonight. We drove straight from school to church to meet up with Daddy for dinner. During the bible study, the older kids were going to hang out in his office while he worked and Judah was going to the nursery.
When everything was finished for the night, I texted to see if they had already headed home. I was surprised to hear that yes, they were already home because Gideon had thrown up. My first thought was “oh, no! Not more sickness!” Then, I heard the rest of the story.
Apparently, Gideon has a routine when he hangs out in Daddy’s office. He goes to the staff coffee station and sneaks the little individual cups of coffee creamer. Tonight, it seems as thought our 5-year-old with the early signs of addictive behavior, couldn’t stop himself from indulging. He consumed enough cream to make himself sick…well, that and the starburst flavored slushy he got with dinner. (It makes my stomach curdle just thinking about it.)
When he ‘fessed up to the deviant looting of coffee condiments, he said it was such creamy goodness that he couldn’t stop himself. This from the child who at age two snuck a stick of butter from the fridge, pulled a chair up to the TV, and ate the butter like a Snickers. (We are really going to have to keep an eye on this one.) He obviously doesn’t know his own limits, or what’s good for him.
In the world of sweet things and buttery goodness, it’s very possible to add too much of a good thing. Not so with Lent, or with God. My crazy has needed an abundance of grace and He has more than enough to not only meet my level of need, but to surpass it. His mercy will never run out, and of His goodness I will never grow weary. It’s impossible to have too much of Him. When I allow myself to actually taste His goodness, even in the midst of crazy, all I want is more. I can’t stop myself from indulging.
When I find myself growing weary and sick of life, unable to think of something spiritual to write about (as I did the past three days), it’s not because I’ve somehow had enough Jesus, or that He’s gone AWAL. The reality is that I’ve not been opening my senses to taste the little morsels of goodness that He has individually packaged for me throughout the day. I haven’t tasted. I haven’t thanked.
Unfortunately for Gideon, God used the little 5-year old’s intolerance for copious creamer consumption to get my attention. I thank Jesus for His grace. He has loved me through the past half-week, despite my weakness and inconsistency. He has loved me, even when I’m not feeling it. He has remained faithful.
Over Lent, I’ve been adding and adding, and the days that I thought I wasn’t adding at all, grace was being added unto me. I just didn’t recognize it.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
2 Corinthians 12:9