1388 of 22066

School has been good.  Yesterday we followed the rest of the world and worked in Starbuck’s.  The girls were rather productive with their peppermint hot chocolates in hand.  They not only got their work done, but they had fun looking like “professionals”- as Ava put it.

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And Judah was content eating his little Gerber snacks. 🙂

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Reading time went well too, with no fits.  It’s something about the sound of coffee grinding, milk frothing…just makes you want to snuggle up and read.  We will do it again for sure.  

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Work here at my desk tonight has not been so fruitful…

We purchased a new computer for Family Rehab about a month ago and just today I noticed that while I thought I had my email account adequately set up, I noticed a discrepancy today between the emails my phone alerted me of and the emails on the computer.  On my phone, for instance, I have a rather important email that I would love to respond to.  But, when I look on the computer to type a response, (because I’m not that great with my thumbs), I can’t find it.  Well, after some clicking of setting buttons, that don’t mean a thing to me, I think I finally connected whatever satellite up there in space is holding all my emails with the computer on my desk.  (Today’s technology is over my head.)  The problem is that now, even though I saw for a split second my important email after I randomly came across the magic “connection” button, I still can’t seem to find it.  It seems as though my email account is stuck downloading the over 20,000 emails that have been backlogging over 6+ years.  Ugh.

I have a little square in the upper right hand corner of my screen that is alerting me every time an email “arrives”, regardless if I read it 97 months ago, or skipped it 1079 days ago.  It’s been crazy seeing the alert: new email, followed by a name and the re: line.  It’s like going through some strange time warp!  I have been reminded of things and people I haven’t considered in ages, while anxiously awaiting the alert I really care about: my important email.  Apparently the little box in the lower left hand corner of my screen tells me I’ve only downloaded 1388 of the 22066 emails in all.  I think it will be awhile till I get to respond to that email.  If you are reading this and you happen to be awaiting an email from me…don’t hold your breath. 

Seeing all the names and topics, events and groups fly by in that little ‘You’ve got Mail’ box has brought to the surface all kinds of emotions which are rather distracting me from my frustration at not getting to my current mail.  I’ve got responses coming in to a 4-year-old birthday invite for my now almost 10 year old daughter.  I’ve seen names of old college friends I haven’t touched base with in apparently 5-6 years.  I’ve been reminded about friends who were in the hospital, asking for prayers, and friends who were in the hospital bringing babies into this world.  I am getting notifications that pay stubs have been sent for money that was spent along time ago.  Quite a bit has happened over 22, 066 emails.  There is joy, grief, anxiousness, and relief all contained in those emails, and even some indifference.

(update: 3778)

When thinking about all those different people and events, it’s overwhelming to remember all the ways that God has shown his mighty hand in my life.  Even in the very difficult, not so fun times, now in hindsight, I see that God was working good for me.  This particular email that I really want to respond to possibly opens the door to a new and exciting adventure.  It’s something I never even imagined for myself, but something that it seems, as of late, God has in store for me.  I’ve been following Him in this direction and not seeking things on my own, for years in fact.  I’ve been intentionally walking down a path He has seemed to lay out for me at a snail’s pace, just to ensure it was Him at work and not anything of my own.  And even though leading up to this moment I have had an almost forgetful attitude at times,  with no expectations, now…I cannot wait one more downloading minute for my email.  

update: 5565… looks like my siblings and I are trying to settle on a theme for the 2009 white elephant Christmas exchange… (I know how it turns out, and it was good.)

Our memory verse for this week seems to have wonderful timing yet again. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight.” I have got to trust Him with whatever lies ahead, even if it means I have to wait days before responding to that email.  If I do indeed have to wait that long, I can trust that His timing and providence is still at work.  I can use this time of remembering the past 6 years of life through email alerts as a way of acknowledging Him and all the ways He has cared for me and loved me, especially through the really rough stuff.  

It reminds me of the sermon this past Sunday that asked the question:  What is the purpose of life?  This email I am anxious to respond to seems to give me a new “purpose” in life.  But really, as my hubby so nicely summed it up on Sunday, my purpose is to glorify God.  I can do that by acknowledging what He has done in my life in the past, what He is doing today by delaying my response to that email, and what He will do through me in any and every new opportunity set before me.  He is the orchestrator of life:  all those new babies, and all those funerals.  He has granted every provision:  every birthday and every pay check.  He has and will continue to inspire and give purpose to even the moments of indifference.  There is nothing I can do without Him, for it is Him at work within me. 

update: 7756… and counting.

One thought on “1388 of 22066

  1. How interesting!!!!! I have become so amazed at your writing that each day when I go to the computer to check my mail, I wonder if Angie sent another entry. I always look forward to reading them and then for the rest of the day thinking about whatever you wrote. I especially liked the one about the rain clouds and thunder and how you applied the Bible verse. The bees and ants one was exceptional!
    So I hope maybe you won’t have to wait too much longer to find that special email and be able to reply to it.

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