Life After Rehab…Step 1

June 17, 2014 — Leave a comment

“IT’S SUMMER?!?!? WHAT? WHO? WHERE? WHEN?!?”

So it hit me the other day that summer is here. Oh, don’t misunderstand…I know that it is summer! We have been looking forward to the days when there’s no school and there are more hours to play. (Although, with our recent relocation, we’ve really been acting like it’s summer since Christmas.) So it wasn’t really the fact that summer has arrived that caught me off guard. What was profoundly shocking about my realization was that our year of “Family Rehab” is over. When we started this crazy adventure, we committed to taking one school year at home to rehabilitate our family and our hearts. Wow. The school year is over. Those 9 months went by incredibly fast. This surprising conclusion has raised many questions concerning Family Rehab:

“Was it worth it?”

“Did we succeed and change?”

“Did we learn anything?”

“Are we better for it, or worse?”

“If we’ve learned anything during this year, how do we keep from reverting to old habits and behaviors?”

When a person enters a formal drug treatment program, they don’t stay there forever. They go through months of overpowering therapy and work, learning how to live in a world that entices them back to their addictions. It’s an intense time created with the purpose of preparing the person to one day leave the facility in better physical, mental, and emotional health. When a person is leaving a treatment facility for drug or alcohol abuse, there can be a lot of similar questions to my Family Rehab questions:

“Was is worth it?”

“Did I succeed and change?”

“Did I learn anything?”

“Am I better for it, or worse?”

“How am I going to survive out there?”

“How can I keep from falling off the wagon?”

I did a little research and found 7 helpful steps from a rehab website (http://www.michaelshouse.com) for those re-entering life after rehab. I think these steps are helpful for our family also as we consider life after Family Rehab. In the posts to come, I will cover these steps and how they relate to all of us in our every day walk.

First of all, it’s wise to note that going to rehab of any kind, whether for substance abuse or for Family Rehab, doesn’t fix a person and take away their struggles. Rehab is designed to concentrate on the tools needed to face the struggle head-on and to lead a life of sobriety. 1 Peter 1:13 says, “Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” Our struggles with sin, with parenting, with relationships, and with coping in this world rely soley on the saving grace of Jesus. Our hope lies in Him–not in improving our performance or trying harder. So these helpful tips for diving back into the real world after a season of intentional learning and healing are not the saving secret codes to life. They are merely help in maintaining that sober-mindedness. They are merely a way to keep the mind prepared for the action that life throws our way. These 7 steps I will share over the next week can help make the transition from a slower pace of intentional living back into regular life a little less stressful.

Step 1: Find Sober Friends

“Addictions often form through the influence of other people. Studies on teens, such one published in the Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, clearly demonstrate that peer pressure is a powerful motivator for drug use, as those teens who spend time with pro-drug friends are more likely to use when compared to teens who spend time with sober friends. The same could be said for adults. Those who have friendships built on drugs may find it hard to go to parties, share meals, or otherwise interact and stay sober, as the temptation to use might grow and spread. Sober friends can be vital, as they may be willing to engage in fun activities that don’t involve substance abuse. Temptation levels might fade when people are surrounded by others who are sober” (http://www.michaelshouse.com).

Using this logic from a drug rehabilitation program as a guide, step 1 for Family Rehab is also to find sober friends–that is, sober-minded friends. 1Timothy 3 speaks directly to sober-minded influences or leaders and overseers in the church:

“Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church? He must not be a recent convert, or he may become puffed up with conceit and fall into the condemnation of the devil. Moreover, he must be well thought of by outsiders, so that he may not fall into disgrace, into a snare of the devil” (1 Timothy 3:2-7).

It doesn’t take much thought to see the wisdom in seeking out sober-minded friends. When surrounded by people who demonstrate the qualities listed above, peer pressure alone makes us better people. But, in the book of Titus, Paul explains the the relationship with sober-minded people is not just one that consists of merely being surrounded my these people. They have been called to be teachers and we are to allow ourselves to be taught by them. He writes to these teachers:

“But as for you, teach what accords with sound doctrine. Older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness. Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. Show yourself in all respects to be a model of good works, and in your teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us. Bondservants are to be submissive to their own masters in everything; they are to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith, so that in everything they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior” (Titus 2:1-10).

Wow…I want to be around someone who has been charged with all that and is willing to take on the challenge. I want to learn from them, study them, and become like them.

In the next phase of our “sobriety”, I think it is important that each member of our family find sober-minded friends. Not just friends, but mentors–people from whom we can learn. For Paul and I we have various mentors already in place for different areas of life. But I think we need to look forward with the goal of really seeking mentorship in the area of parenting specifically. There are couples God has placed in our lives whose families we admire. Their children are respectful and follow Jesus with a passion. Their marriage seems strong and steady. They speak of their spouses with the upmost grace and care, never slandering or damaging them. They deal with stressful situations with calm and peaceful ease demonstrating a firm belief and trust in the Lord’s plan. I want to encourage my children to seek out mentors in older children as well. (Of course, we have to approve their choice.) But we want them to start now looking to older and more seasoned believers for guidance and wisdom. We are naive if we think our children will come to us for advice on all areas of life. We are also naive if we think we can go through life as parents without mentors. I want us all to learn how to recognize and make relationships with sober-minded friends. (Us ladies, find ladies. The guys, find guys.) This, however, doesn’t mean that we circle the wagons and cut-off relationships with those who are outside our circles of faith or condone the particular sins others struggle with. It does mean that those relationship look a little different. If a women is struggling to respect her husband and is filled with frustration, she probably shouldn’t go vent to her girlfriend who is constantly husband bashing. That won’t bear any good fruit or set her up to battle her temptation to sin. Likewise, the man who is struggling with lust probably would not do well to go hang out with a group of guys from work whose relationship is built around frequenting the local strip club. It also will not bear good fruit, nor set him on a path away from temptation.

Who we spend time with, learn from, and let influence our decisions is important. In our American culture we tend to think our opinions and convictions are invincible. But in reality we are so easily impacted by popular trendy beliefs, voices of “intellect” and status, and by merely unconsciously observing the lives of others. Just like the addict, spending the weekend with a best friend doesn’t seem like a potentially dangerous plan in which safety has to be questioned–and maybe it’s not. But the purpose of rehab is to train ourselves to at least be willing to ask questions about the people we let speak into our lives…whether the person is as close a relative or spouse, or as distant as Oprah.

Not only do we need to ask questions about current relationships, but we need to seek out sober-minded friends and mentors. This is a hard process…especially when in a new area like our family currently is. But, the hard and awkward work of getting to know people and learning about them is all worth the effort if the result is having relationships with people who are courageously marking a path of sobriety before you, and setting up boundaries in relationships that might discourage positive headway on the journey.

My prayer is that God leads us to these good relationships and gives all of us, but especially our children, the discernment and wisdom to identify sober-mindedness and the courage to engage and learn from those who possess it. I also pray that we cling to those relationships that are already established and have been proven to bear good fruit. Through all of our life after rehab I pray that we don’t forget our most valuable lesson from the past year—that our greatest friend and influence is Jesus. His faithfulness is unmatched. His sobriety amidst trial and temptation is above that of anyone else. His relationship—a priceless treasure. His forgiveness—unending. His love—relentless.

Psalm 25:14 says, “The friendship of the Lord is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.” He makes known to us His faithfulness to His great promises. Whatever “Life After Rehab” will look like, we can trust that in His friendship He will let us know the “what, who, where, and when” of each moment. He has promised to love us, to never forsake us, and to guide us. And we can trust that He will open our eyes to see the fulfilling of those promises.

Keep an eye out for Step 2 of Life After Rehab…

Baby blue…like the Colorado skies…

May 16, 2014 — 1 Comment

So again, I’ve been feeling sad, a little blue, you might say. I think it’s pretty simple—no need to over analyze. I just miss my people and places. I miss the Broken Spoke, my Buda HEB cashiers, the simplicity of THE one stoplight on Main Street, South Congress, Gordough’s Big Fat Doughnuts, House Pizza on Airport, Town Lake, and the list could go on. Even sitting in this Katy Starbucks deceives me into believing I am sitting near IH-35 in the Buda Starbucks and life hasn’t changed. When we lived in Austin, I used to get frustrated at the “Austin is the best place on earth” mentality. It seemed so self-righteous. But now I get it. It really is the best city on earth. 🙂

Earlier this month, we had the opportunity to go to Colorado as a family. It was the first time to be on a plane for the kids (that they can remember) and it was the first time for us to travel that far with four kids. In short, we all grew a little. 🙂

We had a moment in the car when one child did not want to go into the mountains. Despite the prospect of snow, adventure and fun, the fear of the mountain was too much. I don’t know if it was the foreknowledge of steep cliffs, avalanches or rock slides that was causing the trepidation, but whatever the source, it was all too much. In an effort to encourage, I tried to describe how fun the snow would be, how beautiful the trees would be, how amazing and worth it the drive up to the top would be. None of it was convincing. So, with tears rolling down the cheeks, we just forced all parties in the car up into the Rockies.

It ended up being worth it. (Go figure.) While this annual trip was not as restful as it has been in the past, we did have good fun family time together. Here are a few pics of our adventures:

Manitou Cave Dwellings

The boys and SNOW!

The Wolf Sanctuary

Feeding time for all. Notice the wolf eyeing Judah for dessert.

Gold Mine Tour

We hunted for cave-dwelling Indians, gold, snow, and even wolves. Well, they were easy to find because they were behind the fence and it was feeding time. And everyone had no regrets about being in the heights of the mountain range. Once the wonders of the mountain had been experienced, all fear and concern was gone.

In all the traveling and excitement, I rarely had to time to process anything. This trip has become a mile-marker of sorts. Every Cinco-de-Dyer (our friend, David Dyer’s, May 5th birthday) we trek to Colorado. In the past the week of solitude and reflection has made every trip memorable and unique in that there has been a lot of introspective and identifying of the season we are in or the big lesson for that year. It’s been a time to pause while on the outside of our normal life and take note of what God is doing. We’ve been afforded the opportunity to take a “Colorado skies” panoramic of life and how the Spirit is guiding us. (And if we’ve been following or not.)

This year, that didn’t happen. At least not with the same intentionality. But I remember that it was last year on this trip that as we drove down the mountain paths with huge vistas of blue sky and snow-capped mountains on either side, Family Rehab was born. It was while in the beauty and splendor, without our kids, that a yearning to share it with them was born. “It” was the beauty of the Lord—all that He has created and all that He has done. His majesty spreads farther than the baby blue Colorado skies. His splendor and power is also evident in our lives. And by “our”, I mean everybody. Whether a believer or not, God is working in your life. Whether you confess God as your creator and Jesus as your Redeemer, or not…He’s at work in your life. Whether we believe or not, I dare say we don’t notice or acknowledge the majority of His workings in every facet of our lives. Whether we believe or not, He is pursuing all of us. He pursues not to destroy and condemn, but to love and lavish forgiveness and mercy upon us. Contemplating this, and knowing that He is pursuing me and loving me, no matter how small I am in comparison to Pike’s Peak, makes me feel amazing–so amazing that I want to make sure my children feel the depth and breadth of His love for them. It was the desire to share with them the truth of how much they are loved and treasured that fueled Family Rehab. And I wanted to make sure that I wasn’t just telling them from a philosophical or religious mentality. I wanted them to hear it from my heart, as someone who has experienced His love. But let’s get real. I don’t always feel it. I don’t always believe that it’s there. Like right now…I mean, if He loved me, He wouldn’t have called me out of Austin!

To a warm-weathered Texan, it doesn’t make much sense why anyone would live in sub-freezing temperatures and shovel snow. In the same way, believing that 1) God exists; and 2) He knows me; and 3) that He pursues me with love doesn’t make sense to everyone either. I don’t always see snow. I am so far removed from it at times that I don’t remember exactly how it feels in my hands. I can’t adequately describe in words the crunchy sound it makes under my feet. But if I took you to the mountain, made you kneel beside me and make a snowman, you would know and understand the thrill and joy it brings because you experienced it. I think this is the tricky thing for a believer. I can tell you with all manner of words how knowing and trusting Jesus is better than life, but until you experience it for yourself, it just won’t compute. And if I asked you to travel with 4 kids through an airport then drive in a tear-filled SUV up a mountain trail to experience it, you may not take the challenge, because without knowing the value of the view at top, the view of the journey holds no worth.

It takes risk to climb a mountain. It takes faith to live on one. It takes commitment to shovel through ice and snow winter after winter. But if we go to the mountain together, we can remind each other of the scary cliffs and the exhilaration of making the journey past them. If we go together, we can communicate with fewer words of convincing and more across-the-room glances of solidarity and connection. Taking my kids to the mountain daily is a key part of Family Rehab. It’s not about me simply sharing bible stories or rehearsing scripture memory verses. I am inviting my children into my personal experience with Jesus. When I struggle, they need to see it–because Jesus will show up. When I am sad, they need to hear about it–because Jesus will say something. When I am happy, they need to know the source of it–because Jesus will be pursuing them with storehouses full of it. If I don’t help them experience Jesus, they might miss Him like so many others. They might believe in Him, but they might miss experiencing Him and all His goodness.

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! (Psalm 34:8)

I want my kids to not only taste and see that snow is good. I want them to taste and see with all their senses that Jesus is good. I don’t just want them to push past their fears and see that snow and mountain-fresh air is worth it in the end. I want them to push past insecurities and doubts and the fear of being fully known and see that freedom in Jesus is worth it. In a world that sometimes portrays a Jesus who is disappointed in us and pities us, I want them to know from experience that “Jesus is always good news” as my husband puts it. He loves us and wants good for us. He pursues us with grace and mercy and open arms. He wants us to be happy and full of joy, not guilt and shame. Experiencing that freedom first hand is key. To be loved for who you are right now, in all your failures and insecurities, knowing that right now, without changing a thing, you are worth dying for–that’s worth the pain of being honest about your imperfection. That kind of love doesn’t exist in any other religion, with any other god, or in any human relationship. We’d like to think that we can love unconditionally, but if we are honest, we really do expect quite a lot of good behavior from those that we love. Jesus does what no one else can. He loves me completely and freely…no strings attached.

Oh, kids…taste and see that the Lord is good! Oh, friends…taste and see that the Lord is good! Oh, believers…taste and see that the Lord is good! Oh, Angie…taste and see that the Lord is good! (even when I’m homesick) I need to listen to my own rant here. In my sadness over seeing and tasting familiar Austin things no more, I need to remember that Jesus looks better and tastes better. What He has for me here makes everything else pale in comparison. It may take awhile to see it, to experience it here, but He is at work and He is lavishing grace and mercy on me every moment. I need to heed my own advice. I need to push past the tendency to withdrawal in the safety of my house. I need to gather around me the people He has given me in this place for a journey up the mountain so we can experience His wonders together and remind each other that, yes–He is here, He is good. Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good. 🙂

Introducing AJ…

March 30, 2014 — Leave a comment

Ahhh…internet. The World Wide Web is back at my fingertips. To say my life has become dependent on “Al Gore’s little invention” is an understatement. It feels good to be connected again. Finally, we have music to listen to while setting up the house, email to keep us informed of all those sales on home decor out there, and Facebook to update us on everyone else’s lives. Now I can read all those homeschool blogs and be encouraged and inspired to start school again! (And I can process life at the keyboard once more!)

So much has happened over the past month or so while I’ve been off the grid. We are now residents of Katy, (technically Houston, but we will claim Katy). We are moved in and, for the most part, all the boxes are unpacked. There is a lot to be put in the right place, but at least most of it is out of the box and has been found. We are slowly adjusting to our new surroundings—finding the best grocery store and the nearest Target. This town is full of stuff and I have struggled with information overload when driving down the street. There are so many signs and so many little shops and restaurants that it can be a little overwhelming. The kids are all loving having their own rooms and making their little space their own. I, too, am having fun making this house seem like my own. We’ve had a few hiccups along the way like leaky showers and struggling to get the refrigerator through the front door in the rain. The raccoon has made his way off of all fours, which is exciting, but he is even more sneaky as a two-legged toddler. He’s already demolished a few breakables, which I recorded in this picture for proof:

For the most part, all is well and is slowly coming together. 🙂

We have met many, many people. I don’t know if I remember even half of the names of those to whom I have been introduced. I am sure it will take awhile to remember it all. Ava, in particular, has made it a point to take advantage of the new place and the new acquaintances she meets. She has decided that she doesn’t want to be called Ava anymore, and wants to be known as AJ, or at least Ava Joy. Hey, Jack—I think it’s great. It’s kind of nice to be in a place where you can somewhat reinvent who you are. She has a few familiar faces here who will forever know her as Ava, but what an opportunity to redefine who she wants to be.

In the first days of our time here tensions were thick in our house. The stress of not knowing where anything was, but needing everything to get anything done, pushed us as parents to the limit. The frustration of not having room or freedom to play in the midst of boxes or people unpacking boxes was enough to make the kids a little edgy. Our intense physical closeness with each other was starting to negatively impact our relational connectivity. We really were in need of a fresh start. We were in need of reuniting as a family and getting reconnected around something other than where the towels should go and what shelf should hold the cereal.

We needed some redefining.

Scripture is pretty clear in our need to be redefined—to hit the restart button. So many times in the Bible, people were called to something which resulted in them also receiving a new name. While on the road to Damascus, Saul met the resurrected Jesus. He was called to repent of his persecution of early Christians and instead serve Jesus. On the road his name was forever changed to Paul. He became a completely different person when he answered Jesus’ call. It’s true, yes, that his past identity influenced the way he processed his new life, but he is remembered for his new identity as Paul, the apostle, not Saul, the persecutor.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (ESV) says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” When we are bound with Christ through our faith and His blood, the old identity dies and our new life in Him begins. At times we fear this death, even though what we have to gain from it is everything. It’s hard to truly see and believe how freeing it will be after surrender when we are still on the front side of it. But once a person experiences that newness of life, it’s like fine chocolate—there is nothing better and no going back. Psalm 63 says His steadfast love is better than life and our souls are satisfied as with rich and fat food. It’s so good. However, daily we have to renew and recall this bond. Daily we have to die to self, only to gain all that Jesus has to offer as He lives in and through us. Our family needed to spend some time remembering what has already been put to death in us. We had to recall that in our sinfulness it was like we were answering to someone calling us by our old name, not the new identity Jesus has placed on us. Through repentance—and not the surface-level kind of repentance, but the kind that is accompanied by humility and a listening heart—our family hit the restart button. We stopped worrying about where stuff was and more about where we were. We had to recall why we even made this move—why we were even here?

We made this move because we distinctly felt called to this place and to these people. While it was not as dramatic a story as Paul on the road to Damascus, remembering our encounter with Jesus still has the ability to recalibrate our hearts to who we are in Jesus. Our selfish frustration was only evidence of our dying flesh trying to take over it’s old place in our lives. But, remembering that we are new creations in Jesus, filled with His power and His mercy to serve one another for a higher purpose than our own, sets our hearts on who He defines us to be. He has given us new names: lovely, joyful, peaceful, patient, good, kind, faithful, gentle, and Katy-nite (?) We are still working on figuring out that last one. We are none of these things on our own. Not even when we try really hard! And this is why we have got to surrender ourselves to our new identity in Him DAILY, HOURLY, with EVERY BREATH.

In all of this, noting that the Enemy wants to draw us back to our selfish ways and away from Jesus, only makes us more desperate to cling to the One who is good. We have to acknowledge that we will be tempted to revert back to who we once were. Much like I will refer to AJ as Ava without much effort, so too, will I easily find myself walking amidst the gravestones of past struggles and selfishness. Without Jesus I am powerless. Without Jesus I am only on a path to self-destruction and relational discord. I need Him to be connected to the ones I love in meaningful ways. I need Him to be connected to who I am and who He has called me to be.

And when I do fail, when I find myself acting out of selfishness or fear, not as I should, I get to die to that—right then and there. I get to receive His grace and mercy and love even in that moment. And he still showers me with forgiveness and affection, calling me by my new name as His daughter and spotless treasure. I get to be a new creation—immediately—because He is just that good and gracious.

It feels good to be connected again—connected to Jesus and who He says I am. And that connection and knowledge will only empower and strengthen me to be connected in this new community. Only with Jesus will I find my way—whether to Target or to new relationships or back to internet capabilities.

Anytime we enter a new season of life, or move to a new place, or start some new adventure, we run into surprises that we could never have foreseen. I am sure that we will run into challenges and questions as we continue to transition. I am sure that as this move now becomes a part of our “family rehab” story, God will work through every challenge and obstacle to teach us so many valuable lessons as a family. I am sure we will even learn to more readily answer to some new names, maybe ones like: treasured, valued, and loved. As we learn more about who God is and how much He really does love us, we will learn more about who He says we are. I start to get excited when I see a foretaste of the things to come. He is gently walking our whole family through a rehabilitation journey of our hearts—inclining them towards Him more every day. I am getting a glimpse into how Family Rehab is going to redefine our family. This really is becoming a foundational year in our family history. I hope that our children will look back on this year as a pivotal moment in their lives (hopefully, for the better). I hope that they look back and remember growing closer to God and to each other. I hope that they learn that home is a safe place to ask questions and struggle with who they are. I hope that I learn to speak truth to them in a way that really helps them believe that they are indeed new creations with great purpose.

As we plan to start school on April 1, join me in praying that God gives us great comfort and peace as a family in our new surroundings. He is good. He is faithful. He calls us by a new name.

“And how do you spell… creepy?”

February 22, 2014 — 1 Comment

I really have some catching up to do. The whole reason I began this Family Rehab blog was to hold myself accountable to actually following through with “family rehab!” I knew that I needed to have a public audience that was expecting to hear what we were doing and how it was going. I have come to grips with my personality enough to know that without peer pressure we’d spend all our time in pajamas eating Cheetos. (Well, at least that’s what I fear when not trusting Jesus with the plan.) However, I’ve kind of been slacking in recording our special moments and little triumphs. I have been pretty consumed with my own drama, as I previously mentioned in the past couple of posts. Also, with the Olympics in full swing, we’ve been so busy following our favorite athletes, forcing math and science lessons in during the commercials, learning how to spell crazy Russian words and names, and watching Gideon tug at the skin under his eyes as he practices his newest ‘creepy’ face. And so, in all that kind of excitement and our big move to Katy, I forgot to share a wonderful experience that we had in late January, that would never have been possible if it weren’t for Family Rehab.

Paul was asked to speak at the Texas Lutheran Early Educator’s Conference the last week of January. Due to the amazing generosity of others, we were able to join him and spend some time together learning from the conference, relaxing in Horseshoe Bay, and celebrating Judah’s first birthday. As details of the conference came in, we were so excited to find out that one of our favorite authors, Sally Lloyd-Jones, was also going to be speaking. Helen had just finished reading The Jesus Storybook Bible as her selected chapter book and loved it. (Check it out here: the-jesus-storybook-bible)

We discussed how exciting it would be to meet her and ask a real author some questions. I decided to find her on Facebook and sent a message explaining why in the world I was bringing my kids to a conference and if we could meet her. She was so kind to reply and accept our invitation. The girls couldn’t believe they were going to meet someone famous.

About a week before leaving for the conference, I asked the kids if they had thought of any questions to ask Ms. Lloyd-Jones. Helen said, “I’ll be too nervous to say anything. I will just look at her.” I thought, “Oh, great…she will think we’re simple.” Then Ava said, “Maybe I could practice my British accent on her.” (In a British accent, none the less.) After a pause of disbelief, I said, “Well, Ava, sometimes it isn’t very flattering to have someone try to talk with an accent like yours. I don’t know if that would be appropriate to do for her.” And I thought, “Oh, great…she will think we’re rude.” Then Gideon piped up, “Should I make a creepy face at her?”

Well, we headed to Horseshoe Bay with no questions in our pocket. We at least had our copy of her book to get autographed. We started our time there by exploring the grounds of the awesome resort and spending some good quality time together.

We celebrated Judah’s first birthday by decorating our hotel room with streamers and balloons, and singing Happy Birthday to him at one of the hotel restaurants. We joked how the fourth child is always spoiled and next year we will have to top the resort and fancy-restaurant chocolate cake for birthday #2.

Finally, on the last day of the our trip, it was time to hear Sally Lloyd-Jones speak and then get a chance to meet her. The three oldest kids squeezed up to a front table to sit with Daddy and have a prime seat. She spoke with such eloquence that pointed to the evidence of the Spirit in her. She challenged my heart as a parent and my new role as a teacher. It was wonderful. She shared more of her work, which the kids were so delighted to see and hear. After she finished, the kids rushed out to buy her newest book, Things to Make Your Heart Sing, and then stood in the long line to meet her. I could tell they were nervous and excited. As we waited in line, I yet again asked if they had any questions for her. Helen said, “She answered all of my questions in her talk.” I thought, “Lucky you, smartie…” Ava said, “Nope.” I inwardly heard the Marge Simpson sigh. I looked down at Gideon practicing his creepy face.

When we reached our turn in line, Helen placed her book on the table and sheepishly said, “hi.” Ms. Lloyd-Jones said, “Oh, is this the family I’ve been waiting to meet? You all were so sweet sitting there right in the front row. Shall I sign your book for you?” They all just nodded in disbelief. I interjected, “Thanks for meeting with us, they really are so excited.” She opened the book and said, “Okay, tell me your names and how to spell them. I’m not a very good speller.” (Hey! Neither are we!) Down the line they went as they watched her pen write their names…

“Ava.”

“And how do you spell that?”

” A-V-A.”

“Helen. H-E-L-E-N”…

All eyes on Gideon: “HA! I don’t know how to spell my name!” We and the line of early education teachers behind us all broke into laughter. And I thought, “well that was a lot cuter than creepy face!”

After she finished getting all four names plus her own in the book, we left the line and the girls giggled to each other that they couldn’t believe that they had an “actual autographed book” and immediately started listing which friends they were going to show it to. Gideon was just happy to be there and Judah only had his mind on lunch and a nap. I thought about the words of wisdom that Sally Lloyd-Jones shared in her session about speaking to the hearts of children in a respectable and honorable way. We shouldn’t just communicate with them in a way that seems to say, “I don’t have to try hard, these are just kids,” but rather, that we should try harder–with more intent. If that doesn’t apply to Family Rehab, I don’t know what does! She said good books are not sermons to answer questions, but are stories of truth that invite inquisitive minds to ask more questions and wonder. I wanted so desperately for my children to have intellectual and deep questions for her. I wanted them to dig deeper and want more than second-hand fame handed down in an autographed book. But had I really inspired them to those kinds of questions? Had I directed them to the Truth of Jesus, as seen through the life of Sally Lloyd-Jones, or just pointed them to a nice author and her accomplishments? Had I listened to the questions that they did have with respect and honor? Seriously, I could have honored and respected even creepy face. His desire was to be funny and his heart was to bring a smile to her face. I could have encouraged the heart behind the creepy face and let Gideon know how making others happy is evidence that Jesus lives in his heart and is working through Him.

She also shared her personal story of writing in a dictionary margin as a young child that God had told her she would build a church in Africa. She had completely forgotten about it until she came across it much later in life. She shared how recently she was asked if The Jesus Storybook Bible could be used to teach the Christ-centered nature of the Old Testament to a country in Africa. Little did she know she would be building a church not with bricks, but with books. What I took away from her story was that God is speaking to our children. We should be listening! What things has He told my little ones? Are they whispers into His plan? Do they speak wisdom into my parenting and how to encourage my children down the path He has set before them?

All of this to say, it was a wonderfully challenging experience that we couldn’t have done if it weren’t for the space created in Family Rehab and for the generosity of others. We were so blessed to have the time and the space and the gentle reminder of how to love our children in the light of His love.

OH..lympics!!

February 10, 2014 — Leave a comment

In the midst of our crazy transition the 2 constants remain: Jesus and the OH-lympics! We LOVE the Olympics and have spent the past month or so in school preparing for the games. We’ve incorporated Language Arts, Social Studies, Math, and Science into our unit and it has been so much fun. The kids are learning and they don’t even realize it—which I love. 🙂 I thought I’d share some of our unit with those who are interested in doing some extra learning with your kids. It doesn’t matter that the Olympics have already started. They will be here for a whole 2 weeks!

We started with a spiral notebook for each of them. They decorated it, of course, which needed no encouragement or instruction. We slowly started filling in the notebook by devoting a page to each of the sports in the winter games. We found and read articles explaining the rules and guidelines for each of the events. We used the website nbclearn.com to watch videos on each of the sports that include the math and science behind each sport. Once there was an understanding on the event, they drew a picture to help them remember what it was and what some of the important characteristics were for each.

We also read biographies online from the TEAM USA website and articles on the latest news from that sport. They picked the athlete that they wanted to cheer for and wrote it in their notebooks.

For each of the sports, it was really great to see them searching out their own learning. They didn’t know it, but they were doing their own research project that involved reading, writing, science, and math.

The first week of our unit just happened to be National Letter Week, so we learned/reviewed how to write a letter and they both chose to write a letter of encouragement to Lindsey Vonn, who at that time had just announced she would not be competing in the upcoming games. We hope to get a response! It was great to see them put forth the initiative to find the correct address for her fan mail. I think they envisioned seeing her opening and reading their letters on TV. They were a little misguided, but very motivated!

We talked about how hard it must be to train for four years and then not be able to compete. We talked about how it would be a struggle for an Olympian or any athlete to put all their value and worth into their performance and success. We talked about good sportsmanship and humility and how that applies to all of us, even if we are not athletes. We discussed how so many athletes train and never make it to the games. So what happens to those people? We talked about how through Jesus we know we are more than athletes or artists or writers. We are children of God. We are His sons and daughters and that gives us more satisfaction and value than a gold medal at the Olympics. We discussed how sometimes God blesses people with medals and how that can be used for His glory, and how on the other hand, it can be a stumbling block and turn into an idol. Sweet Gideon suggested during more than one of these conversations that we pray for the athletes. So, Lindsey Vonn—you’ve been covered in prayer, thanks to Gideon.

For a few of the sports we dove in a little deeper. They built a luge track down the stairs out of Zhu-zhu pet tracks and used Hot Wheels cars to test it out. They learned about friction and how it’s important to reduce it to have the fastest time. They learned about force and how the luger has one chance to apply force at the beginning of the track. They also learned how changing the grade of steepness of the track can accelerate or decelerate the athlete down the course and how that can result in a more or less challenging course.

We also attended a Texas Stars hockey game. It was awesome. I didn’t know how they would react to all the body checks and if they would be able to stay engaged in the action, but they loved it and now our whole family loves hockey. It’s the hockey games they want to watch for the Olympics! Totally didn’t expect that!

We also had a little history fun with some good movies. We watched Cool Runnings which is a comedy based on Jamaica’s first bobsled team and their journey to making it to the games. The kids loved it for it’s humor. I was encouraged when they again wanted to research the “real-life” Jamaican bobsled team. We read articles on the current team and how they were only able to make it to the 2014 Olympics in Russia due to monetary donations by fans. We discussed generosity and how one person’s sacrifice of money was able to contribute to a complete stranger reaching a goal. We also found youtube video of the first Jamaican team and their accident on the track. It really is moving to see the actual footage of the team walking down the track after the bobsled flipped in order to make it to the finish. Sometimes winning is not the goal, but completing a project. We also watched Miracle which tells the true story of Herb Brooks, the player-turned-coach, who led the 1980 U.S. Olympic hockey team to victory over the seemingly invincible Russian squad. There is a lot of good political history in the movie, which went a little over their heads. But, we learned from the movie about how being on a team means putting selfish ambition aside.

We found Russia on the globe and talked about the unique balmy climate of Sochi. We discussed the threats of terrorism on the games and some of the world politics behind that. We talked about Russia’s desire to show their ability to host the games and some of the nation’s political and industrial history. We watched the Opening Ceremonies and recorded in their notebooks the countries that had only 1 athlete and made some hypotheses as to why that is: climate, finances, or government rule? They also kept track of which country had the most athletes. (Russia beat out the US by only 2 athletes!)

The girls researched the schedule of the games and made a chart in their notebooks of when the events will be televised so they could not miss a thing.

It really has been the perfect unit for this crazy season in our lives. The notebooks make our unit very mobile which is great in the midst of packing and moving. It will be nice to spend the next two weeks watching the games and knowing that the kids are putting their research and new knowledge to work. They are so excited about following their favorite athletes and seeing if they can catch Vladimir Putin cracking a smile. (Try it…my bet is that he never will!) They will be keeping track of the medal count and the fastest speeds recorded on the skeleton, meanwhile learning how to fill in charts and graphs and plot lines. We will follow all the hockey games and create a chart that makes sense of the path and games needed to win to win a medal. Following the Olympics we will use all of the data they collected to do some math problems and to do some writing.

I hope that for those of you who love the Olympics as much as the Goeke’s, you have a fun family time around the games. I hope that you find yourself chanting “U-S-A” in your living rooms. I hope that it inspires conversations about value and worth and who we are in Jesus. I hope that your family and mine will get a bigger global view of the world and all the different people in it. I pray that we see God’s creativity in His creation and even more so a glimpse of the depth of His love for all of us. Woo-hoo! It’s the OH-lympics!

ANGIE GOEKE

Family rehab